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Our close companions for over two decades, who has faced and conquered several hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she's often blindsided by others. Her spouse ended their marriage, and it was a massive blow. A lot of her friends drifted away then, because they seemed only interested in her husband. This surprised her deeply. She put in greater energy toward our bond, likely understood more acutely what friendship was.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. The company she worked for turned on her, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, she departed without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Recently, both of us left the workforce leading to more frequent meetups, however, I feel my position in the relationship is as the audience. I open subjects but she shifts conversation onto what interests her. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. My effort is to propose verifying facts and different perspectives.

She's been planning a trip to a nation I have traveled to on several occasions even called home for some time. I attempted to share insights, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially only wanted my agreement with her choices. I recently ended a month in that place she is eager to catch up, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I am unwilling to be a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, but I don't think she can understand the impact of how she acts on my confidence. Currently, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to end things abruptly, but it is rarely the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it aiming for resolution requires bravery and openness from both people.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining the usual pattern when you talk. It should be objective and clear like an unbiased account. Next is to tell how this affects you emotionally. There should be no argument about this. Emotions belong to you, after all. Step three is to ask how the two of you will alter the dynamics of your friendship."

Consider that she also has her own side, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. An approach that works is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be successful for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

She may dismiss your concerns, for those who hold onto a “survival narrative”: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they're unable to abandon as it feels essential is tied to it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult when there seems no clear path in such cases, just dead ends. However, she might at first react defensively and then think on your words. If you don't achieve an agreement, you'll have closure that you've been open and direct.